It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
