That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
