I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
