He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
