He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
