he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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