I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
