So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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