Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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