Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
