She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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