haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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