it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
