but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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