mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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