thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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