please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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