Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish i was in the wii world.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
