And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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