Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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