She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
