it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
