So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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