I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
