they need to just BURY HIM!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
