so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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