Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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