You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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