I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
