They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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