So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
