I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
