Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
