I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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