dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
me + whiskey = a bad person
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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