You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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