Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
