I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
