Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My cat gives me a boner
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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