omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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