i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Even the bartender felt bad for me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
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We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
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Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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