College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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