Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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