dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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