do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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