So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
