The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
