I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I skipped work to stalk him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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