Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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