Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
