I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
is that a dick in a sweater?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
