Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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