So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
