yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
