You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
