I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
