This girl is more easily done than said...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
